


Kwami Chaos

by 11JJ11



Series: Kwami Crack [1]
Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Connected One Shots, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, F/M, Gen, Kinda, Kwamis annoying Gabriel, Nathalie Sancoeur Does Not Get Paid Enough, POV Gabriel Agreste | Papillon | Hawk Moth, Parent Plagg (Miraculous Ladybug), Plagg Is a Troll (Miraculous Ladybug), Protective Plagg (Miraculous Ladybug), Rated T because of overly romantic kwamis, Short Chapters, Slight OOC, annoyed Gabriel Agreste
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-11
Updated: 2021-01-06
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:40:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 11,979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22205776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/11JJ11/pseuds/11JJ11
Summary: Gabriel wants to work. Nooroo wants to be with his girlfriend. Why are they even having this discussion, isn't he supposed to be the one in charge?Gabriel doesn't understand why his enemies' kwamis have decided to hang out at his house, but it's getting annoying.(Basically just kwamis annoying Gabriel.)
Relationships: Duusu/Plagg (Miraculous Ladybug), Gabriel & Nathalie, Gabriel/Nathalie, Plagg & Tikki (Miraculous Ladybug), Tikki/Nooroo
Series: Kwami Crack [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1837042
Comments: 98
Kudos: 520





	1. Chapter 1

After a long day of meetings and unconfident investors, Gabriel Agreste was ready to get some rest. And by rest he meant locking himself in his atelier and working on his designs. He never sent out akumas after days like this, he found that he did not have the patience to deal with overly dedicated akumas or those wretched heroes, so it was times like these he was able to set aside anything that had to do with his super villain alter ego, and simply got to work on what he needed to do as a civilian.

However, as he entered his atelier, he saw a sight he didn’t know what to make of.

Gabriel was used to kwamis, he saw his every day, and Duusu on occasion. Normally he didn’t even blink at Nooroo sitting on his desk, reading one of his books or snacking on grapes, but today his submissive little kwami was doing something much different.

He was sitting on his desk surrounded by wine and macaroons, paws wrapped around a little red creature, their lips locked in what appeared to be a very passionate kiss.

“...Nooroo?” Gabriel couldn’t help but stutter slightly at the sight, and the two kwamis pulled away from each other, looking at him in irritation. Not like this was his office or anything, or that he owed this place, or that the food they were eating were paid for with the money he earned. “What the– who is– how did–?”

“Hi Master,” Nooroo said unenthusiastically. “Please don’t tell me that we’re going to turn into Hawk Moth, me and Tikki have plans tonight.”

“Who is that?!”

“Tikki,” the red kwami said, looking annoyed. “Weren't you listening?”

He just stared at the creature, taking in her form. It was strange to see such a brightly colored kwami, her antenne low in her frustration. Black spots covered her form, blue eyes cold and icy, and he couldn’t help but feel as if this kwami was somehow familiar. The two stared at each other for a moment, as if waiting for the other to make the first move.

“What is it doing here?” Gabriel demanded.

“We’re on a date,” Nooroo said happily, wrapping a paw around Tikki, pulling her close. “It’s been centuries since we’ve been able to be together like this, after all.”

“You’re an immortal being with abilities to grant powers, and you’re going on a date?” Gabriel said with narrowed eyes.

“You’re a famous fashion designer with all the money a human could ask for, and you like to terrorize the city in your free time,” Nooroo countered. “Now if you’ll excuse us, we were in the middle of catching up.”

“More like making out,” Gabriel muttered. 

Were these creatures really older than him, because they were sure acting like teenagers right now. Thank goodness Adrien hadn’t gotten eyes for anyone yet, he wasn’t sure how he would be able to deal with that. Sure from what Nathalie reported it seemed he had a strong affection for Ladybug, but who didn’t in Paris? He tended to push aside his son’s admiration for the hero, knowing that he didn’t know any better, though it did pain him to see new merchandise in the honor of the heroes be mailed to his front step every week.

Wait. Ladybug.

“You’re Ladybug’s kwami!” Gabriel burst out in realization, just as the two bug-based kwamis leaned towards each other once more, and they shot him another glare.

“No,” Tikki said sarcastically, “I’m Carapace’s kwami. Of course I’m Ladybug’s kwami! Now will you be quiet, or better yet, just leave?”

“You brought the enemy into my house!” Gabriel snarled at Nooroo. “She’ll lead Ladybug here, you betrayed me!”

“I was never on your side to begin with,” The Butterfly replied. “I believe the term you used was ‘slave’, if I recall?”

“Oh Cookie,” Tikki said softly, her paws stroking the purple kwami’s face, and Gabriel could only stare. “You poor thing, how could he treat you like that? Don’t worry, we’ll get you back to the Miracle Box in no time. Then it will just be you and me...”

She began glowing with pink light as she pulled him close, and seeing how Nooroo’s cheeks flushed to a deep violet in response, Gabriel guessed that it meant something else to the kwamis. The Ladybug kwami snuggled closer to him, letting out small chime-like sounds, which Nooroo responded to with the same calls. He just gawked, not sure what to make of what was happening in front of him.

“You betrayed me!” Gabriel snapped, reminding himself what this really was about. “She’ll tell Ladybug who I am!”

“No she won’t, we kwamis can’t reveal identities of wielders, even when ordered,” Nooroo began pressing kisses to the top of Tikki’s head, and he shuddered– couldn’t they do this when they weren’t trying to explain things to him?

“She’ll lead the heroes here!”

“No I won’t,” Tikki replied, running her paws across Nooroo’s wings, who instantly relaxed. “Wouldn’t that be revealing your identity? Against the rules.”

“I don’t think that’s how–”

“Your secret is safe,” Nooroo snapped. “She’s not telling her owner where or who you are, and we’re doing the same with hers. Now can you let two kwamis have some alone time, or are you just going to keep pestering us with questions?”

“This is my office, and I want to work!”

“Then do it quietly,” Nooroo snapped back, and turned his focus back to Tikki. He had to hold back a gag at the way the two looked at each other, both faintly glowing pink and purple respectively with a look in their eyes.

Gabriel stood there awkwardly for a moment, below slowly inching his way over to his desk. This was his house, his workspace, and he wasn’t going to be chased off by two gods that looked like bugs. He sat down at his desk, brushing away macaroon crumbs as he pulled out his tablet, and set down to get to work.

For a few minutes he managed to sketch, only the sound of kissing and shifting filling the room, but soon the giggling began. A very annoying, high pitched giggle from the red kwami. Gray eyes shifted over towards the two of them and he watched as Tikki fed Nooroo grapes– where had those even come from?! He knew it was Nooroo’s favorite food, but he could have sworn that wasn’t among the food items surrounding them earlier.

Nooroo was flushed, and it wasn’t from the wine (he had learned a long time ago that the kwami couldn’t get drunk. He had seen Nooroo chug three bottles of his good wine in a single night without any side effects). He then picked up a macaroon, giggling himself as he fed it to Tikki in return. The image of teenagers once again returned to his mind as they both broke into those annoying little laughs like they had just shared their first awkward kiss.

It definitely wasn’t their first though, the two throwing the food aside and zipping towards each other. Their mouths locked, arms embracing each other as they held the other with a desperation. The silence that had been there before was gone, and he had no idea how two little creatures managed to kiss so loudly.

“I’m trying to work!” He cried in frustration, and hovering in the air the two broke apart, glowering at him.

“Then go somewhere else.”

He was not going to go somewhere else, he owned this place! He owned Nooroo! He owned his Miraculous! One day he would own that Tikki and her Miraculous and he would make his wish! He would not bow to their orders, they should be following his! He wasn’t just going to–

The two kwamis began glowing at each other once more, and Gabriel decided that perhaps he would be more productive working in the dining room instead.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tikki and Nooroo aren’t convinced that “Hawk Moth” is a good name for the holder of the Butterfly Miraculous.

“So, what’s with ‘Hawk Moth’ anyway,” Tikki asked Nooroo, hovering upside down in front of him as he chugged some red wine. “You’re the Butterfly kwami, not a moth.”

“He thought butterflies were too girly,” Nooroo replied, and Gabriel stiffened up.

“The fashion designer thought something was too ‘girly’?” Tikki giggled, and he glowered at the two kwamis.

“Sorry if “the Butterfly” doesn’t strike fear into people's hearts. I’m supposed to be the villain, aren’t I?”

“And moths themselves weren’t scary enough either,” Nooroo added. “So he had to throw in a raptor into the name too!”

“‘Hawk moth’ is an actual kind of moth!” He snapped.

“It gets better,” Nooroo giggled, drifting closer to Tikki, and if looks could kill the kwamis would no longer be immortal. “He didn’t like my transformation phrase either, so he added to it.”

Tikki looked confused. “‘Wings rise’? What’s wrong with ‘wings rise’?”

“Nooroo, I thought we agreed that bug could hang around as long as she doesn’t learn anything about Hawk Moth,” Gabriel said stiffly.

Nooroo was struggling to hold back a laugh. “He added ‘dark’ to it, so he always says ‘dark wings rise’ and ‘dark wings fall’ to detransform! It still works since he technically is saying the right phrase... but it’s just so cheesy!”

The two kwamis burst out into giggles, and Gabriel shook in frustration. “I have an aesthetic to keep, that is all.”

“You transform alone!” Tikki laughed. “Was saying ‘wings rise’ too much for your pride?”

“Yep!” Nooroo said with a grin. “He acts all stoic and unfazed, but his pride is his baby, can’t even let it be bruised. Oh man, I didn’t tell you about the puns! This guy is a pun master once he puts the mask on, he–”

Gabriel stepped forward, staring daggers at his kwami, who paused mid sentence. Eyes cold, the villain spoke in an even tone. “No wine for a week.”

“But Master–!”

“Two weeks,” he decided, turning his back on them to resume working.

Next time he came into his office to see the two of them together he found Nooroo drinking from a small box of grape juice with a straw grumpily, which Tikki had seemed to have brought for him while he was on his wine ban.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like the English dub, but it's a coward for not letting Hawk Moth be a butterfly villain like in the French dub.
> 
> Also you can never convince me that Nooroo's actual transformation phrase is "dark wings rise". Gabriel added in the "dark" part and you can't change my mind.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel most certainly does not tolerate Tikki's presence, and she most certainly does not have good advice.

As much as Gabriel did not want it, Tikki soon did become a figure he was used to in his atelier. He no longer blinked when he walked in after a long day and saw a speck of red on his desk, nor did he get surprised when returning from his lair to see her glaring at him impatiently to detransform. Nooroo would flitter over to her excitedly each time, the two dancing around the other, letting out chime-like sounds.

At least they no longer glowed at each other seductively when he was around.

It seems they were had been making up for lost time that first night, because while there was kissing and embracing, it was nothing like the nightmare that had been branded into his mind from their first time. He did his best to ignore the little she-demon though, who was just as annoying as her holder, and she remained lip-tight on anything to do with her holder or location. Or any details of Ladybug at all.

It meant absolutely nothing that he now asked the chef to serve macaroons alongside the grapes and wine he ordered for Nooroo to keep him energized. She was annoying, but they were just both quieter that way.

“So the elevator goes to your lair?” Tikki remarked, swallowing a macaroon whole, staring at the painting of his wife.

“Yes, and it is not for your eyes,” Gabriel replied sharply, working on his most recent design. “You tell me nothing about Ladybug, so you’ll be learning nothing about Hawk Moth. You’re just here for your boyfriend, that’s all.”

“Mate,” the Ladybug kwami corrected, zipping in closer to study Emilie. “Nooroo and I have been together for a long time, we have a closer bond than any of you humans can have. Love does not describe what we feel.”

“Yet you make out like lovesick children,” he replied dryly, erasing the colors he had chosen– no pallet was working out how it should for this design. Which was endlessly frustrating, because this was one he had grown quite fond of when sketching it out.

“You humans just have interesting ways of showing affection which we like to mirror,” she replied. “We have our own ways as well, though.”

“Why don’t you hang out at Ladybug’s place instead? Give me some quiet?” He grumbled under his breath.

“Because someone doesn’t let Nooroo ever leave– did you think I wanted to come here or something?” She snapped, zipping towards him, but he refused to look up. She peered over his shoulder, and sighed. “Try using navy as a highlight color instead of a base,” she commented after a moment of looking at the dress. “A bolder color is what you need for it to stand out like you intend.”

He was about to snap at her to shut up, because no one was to tell him how to do his job, but as his mouth open he found no words coming out– because to his horror, he realized that she was right. He had been constantly using darker tones as the main color on the pallet, following the rest of the theme this line had, but something brighter would be exactly what this piece needed. Of course the navy had to stay to keep to the theme, but perhaps it would look nicer on the sleeves to accent the belt and–

“...That is a possibility,” Gabriel finally said slowly, not wanting to admit that she was right nor thank her.

Tikki looked smug as he switched over to the brighter tones. “Kwami of Creation, billions of years old– I know a thing or two, Gabriel Agreste.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter our favorite kwami of Destruction will make his appearance.


	4. Chapter 4

Gabriel was used to the red kwami. She was annoying, but she had become a constant in his life. It wasn’t uncommon to see her after an akuma attack, or zipping away to go find her owner when he told Nooroo it was time to transform. He had watched her and Nooroo kiss like tomorrow would never come, and she had pointed out suggestions for his work, which he sometimes (always, though grudgingly) took.

But Gabriel did not know what to make of the black creature that had joined them on his desk today, though. Green eyes regarded him coolly, tail swaying side to side, before nodding as if deciding something. 

“You’re stupid,” it declared.

“Plagg!” Tikki said as the black kwami stretched out. “You could at least be polite!”

“He’s Hawk Moth. Bad guy. Hurt my kitten. I don’t like him.”

“I don’t like him either, but this is his house, and he’s Nooroo’s holder.”

“Nooroo this, Nooroo that,” this ‘Plagg’ replied, yawning. “Life would be better if you invested your emotions in cheese, Sugar Cube, trust me.”

“What is that and why is it in my atelier?” Gabriel demanded.

The cat-like creature snickered. “Name’s Plagg, bringer of destruction. It is most definitely not nice to meet you.”

“You’re Chat Noir’s kwami,” Gabriel decided after a moment, and the kwami rolled his eyes.

“Oh wow, it looks like you actually do have a brain cell in there,” Plagg zipped in front of him, nose crinkled in distaste. “Let’s see if you can put it to use. Let’s get some cheese up here, camembert. Or else.”

“I most certainly will not. Ladybug kwami, your presence is tolerated, but I will not have this... thing in my house!”

Plagg looked at him for a moment, then burst out into hysterical laughter. “Oh no, what ever would you do if I was in  _ your house? _ ” He cackled, and Tikki shot him a disapproving glare. “Maybe I should move in, I mean this is a pretty nice place, not too bad of a place to live...”

“Plagg...”

“Lighten up, Sugar Cube, there’s only one brain cell in there after all.”

“Please excuse my brother,” Tikki said in an exhausted tone. “He heard I was hanging out here and wanted to join us for today. He likes camembert cheese, like he mentioned, but anything smelly enough with dairy will do if you don’t have that.”

“They have some,” Plagg said with a grin.

“Yes, my son seems to have developed a liking for it,” Gabriel said dryly. Alongside Adrien’s dozens of orders of Ladybug merch, there was his orders for cheese. So much cheese. He did not know how his son ate it all, but a new shipment was placed every week. Usually it was camembert, and sometimes a fancier cheese was ordered too.

“Plagg, I swear–” Tikki began.

“So, old man?” Plagg asked. “You going to have your butlers or whatever bring me up some cheese, or am I going to have to start knocking things off of your desk?”

He zipped over to a glass of water, inching it towards the edge of the table, and both him and Tikki gave him a sharp glare. Plagg grinned happily, nudging it some more, the water sloshing about. When he got no confirmation about the state of his cheese order he kicked out his legs, sending the cup flying over the edge. Gabriel flinched, but Nooroo was quicker, zipping out from his jacket and grabbing the glass before it hit the floor and shattered.

“Plagg, please don’t,” Nooroo said, placing the glass back on the table. “Master will get you some cheese,” he shot a glance at Gabriel over his shoulder. “I promise.”

Plagg’s ears went back. “‘Master’? That’s what you’ve been putting up with? And you’re letting this happen, Tikki”

“I’m working on it,” she said stiffly.

Plagg slapped Nooroo on the back. “Kid, I need to show you how to train your Miraculous holder, it ain’t too hard to get them to do what they want. Remember, no secrets between kwami and holder, and with a wonderful thing called technology, those secrets can become a very valuable trading tool–”

“I forbid you from hanging out with Nooroo.”

“Wow. You’re just as great as a Miraculous holder as you are a parent,” Plagg sneered.

“How does Chat Noir put up with you?” Gabriel asked, waving his hands between the black and purple kwami to separate them. Tikki was a good enough influence around Nooroo, she was calm and they didn’t cause too much trouble. Usually. This little Cat kwami on the other hand was clearly the opposite, and he would not have Nooroo near him.

“He gives me cheese,” Plagg replied.

Gabriel closed his eyes, sighed, picking up the phone on his desk. “Hello, kitchen? I would like to order my usual for the evening, but with some camembert cheese and some bread too. Yes. That will be all.”

He only ordered the bread so no one would think he was eating just plain cheese.

“It also helps that I’m the only supportive figure in my kitten’s life, so he likes me,” he shrugged. “I guess that’s what happens when you’re the only present parental figure they have. Says a lot if a cat of destruction is a better parent than their actual father.”

“Plagg, I’m serious, if you don’t stop that right now I’m–”

“Nooroo, let me teach you how to unlock your holder’s phone!” Plagg said loudly, grabbing Nooroo by the arm and dragging him towards Gabriel’s pocket, cutting off his twin.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel doesn't like Plagg for some reason. I can't imagine why.

“I hate you with the passion of a thousand suns.”

Plagg grinned at Gabriel. “Same.”

He didn’t know how the kwami had time to come out here so often– weren't they supposed to be with their holders at all times in case he sent out an akuma?– but Plagg liked to show up in his office with what seemed to be the intention of just to bother him. He zipped about his office as he worked, screaming for no reason. He pushed things off of his desk, dumped food on his tablets, and had now cost him several hundred euros in supplies at this point. Not that he couldn’t easily afford it, but still.

But this. This was the final straw.

“Look at this!” He snarled, shoving the newspaper at the cat. 

He grinned as he read the headline, before flipping upside down. “I don’t see how this is a problem. Isn’t this good for your precious image?”

“You’ve corrupted Nooroo!” He snarled. “He never messed with my personal belongings until you came along!”

“Maybe I’ve been here the whole time.”

Nooroo had decided to access his bank account last night, and had made public donations to every charity that involved anything to do with the heroes. Foundations that just used the heroes’ names, ones that had been personally approved by the heroes, an organization that gave support to those who had been akumatized– even a rescue center that specialized in saving and fostering black cats!

Gabriel was involved in charities, it was good for his public image after all, but this just wounded his pride. These sudden and generous donation had made headlines, a hashtag had begun trending– as usually his donations were given around big events, in a meticulous manner to help promote both his name and brand– but this had been done randomly in the middle of the night, in what seemed to be an impulsive way to the public’s eye.

“Look at this– my rivals have begun to make similar donations to the same organizations!” Gabriel growled in frustration. “And then here– ‘We should all follow M. Agreste’s example with such charity, and show our support to the heroes that protect us.’ I don’t support them! I hate their stupid smug masked faces!”

“Meh, when I told Nooroo to do something rebellious charity wasn’t the first thing I had in mind, but if it bothers you that much perhaps he knows what he’s doing,” Plagg said as he read the paper. “And why do you even get these old things? Can’t you get the news online now days?”

He ignored him. “This makes me look soft! I have a reputation to uphold!”

“Oh look, you’re helping save black cats,” Plagg cooed, before laughing. “I’m afraid we don’t want your help though, it’s more of an insult than anything.”

“Get out of my house and get back to your holder!” Gabriel roared.

Plagg grinned. “What if I can’t do both at the same time?”

“I will stuff processed cheese down your throat if you’re not out of here in–”

Surprisingly this threat worked, as Plagg phased through the wall before he could even finish his threat. Gabriel blinked in surprise, before relaxing– that was useful to know. Now he just needed the kitchen to actually stock some cheap processed cheese, because he knew they didn’t own anything like that.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One more kwami joins the fray.

The kwamis had apparently decided that his atelier was the place to be, because as he walked in that afternoon he found all three of them on his desk. Nooroo was leaning up against Tikki, the two of them snuggled together (it was a shame kwamis couldn’t be photographed, it was actually quite a cute image), while Plagg scribbled a mustache and devil horns on a picture of him.

“Those are my fabric markers!” Gabriel cried in realization, and he pounced at the Black Cat. Plagg cackled, phasing through the desk before he could catch him, and he hastily gathered up his markers. “These aren’t meant for paper.”

“I know,” Plagg said with a grin, appearing behind his computer. “Anyways, can we get some food up here? I want brie today, well aged please– I saw some in the kitchen and I’m not taking no as answer again!”

“I am not here to feed you, you have your annoying little holders to do that,” Gabriel snapped in frustration. “And stay out of my kitchen, and away from my cheese.”

“I most definitely have never had any cheese from your kitchen. I have never snuck in there in the middle of the night to eat to my heart’s content. Nope. Definitely not.”

“Plagg, can you please just stop?” Tikki asked. “It’s risky enough being here.”

“Sorry Sugar Cube, I can’t hear you,” Plagg zipped overhead as Gabriel tried to snatch him, and he hovered above the two other kwamis. “Aren’t you guys going to kiss? I thought you said tonight was going to be romantic~”

“Yeah,” Nooroo muttered. “Without you here.”

“I agree with them,” Gabriel said as he sat down– so much for working on Hawk Moth-related plans tonight, he couldn’t do that with the heroes’ kwamis here. “It would be much better without you, so why don’t you scram?”

“Nah,” he replied, phasing into Gabriel’s pocket, and he scrambled to stop the demon, but he zipped out of his jacket with his phone in hand. “Oh wow, lookie at what we have here, how do we unlock this... there!”

“Give me my phone back right now,” he demanded, rising to his feet, holding out his hand– while Plagg zipped up to the corner of the room and out of reach.

“Wow, this is like the most boring background picture ever. You know people usually put pictures of their friends and family, right? Let’s see... no pictures of your son in your camera roll? Really?”

“I do too have pictures of Adrien–”

“Modeling pictures,” Plagg sneered. “Which I am sure are to just check on his progress and not because you want them. Same with every picture you have of him on that wall,” he waved a paw towards the golden frame that had a collage of pictures of Adrien. “Modeled. Posed. Fake smiles, fake situations– all horrible choices. You know he hates these, right? They’re the same thing you see all around this city, now let’s see... aha! Instagram, can’t believe you actually have the app...”

“Give me back my phone now, or else I’ll–”

“Here we are, an actual photo of your son! Look how happy he is here, outside with his friends... something you never see for yourself.”

“Plagg,” Tikki said, floating up into the air, but Plagg was fully invested in his mission.

“Saved and there– a perfectly good background! Let’s grab a few more to save to your camera roll, maybe one to make your screensaver and... there! Here old man, all yours!”

Plagg chucked his phone at him, purposely aiming to his left so Gabriel had to lunge for it. Despite this he missed catching it, and it took Tikki’s and Nooroo’s combined efforts to keep it from crashing into the floor. He plucked it from the kwamis’ hands without so much as a thanks, tucking it back into his pocket. He would have to change the background back to something presentable later, but he wasn’t having it out with these pests around.

_ Knock. Knock. _

“Sir?” Nathalie’s voice called from the other side of the door, and immediately Plagg and Tikki dove for a hiding spot. “May I come in? I have everything we need for tonight.”

“Of course,” he replied. “However, I’m afraid we need to change–”

Nathalie strolled in, several stacks of papers in her arms as she came in. “I have printed out ever sighting of Chat Noir and Ladybug on their patrols for the last year. Familiar patterns have already been mapped out, I feel it is the outliers that we need to focus on and pinpoint why if we’re going to catch them off guard–”

“Nathallie, stop,” Gabriel said quickly, looking nervously at the drawer he had seen the Ladybug kwami hide in. “Tonight is not a good time to discuss this, we will need to reschedule.”

“But why?” A voice asked, and zipping out from Nathalie’s pocket was Duusu. The Peacock kwami tilted her head, tail flicking out in confusion. “Didn’t you say this was your big chance to catch the heroes off guard? Then once we have their Miraculouses we could–”

“Duusu, shut up,” Gabriel snapped. “You are not to discuss any of our plans in this room!”

“Why not?” Duusu frowned in confusion, zipping in circles around Gabriel. “You said this is the only place we can discuss plans. Or in the lair. Or down in the repository where–”

“Unless you want this information to be directly reaching Ladybug and Chat Noir you will shut your mouth right now!” Gabriel hissed, and both Nathalie and Duusu stared at him in confusion, before they looked at Nooroo for some answers.

“We have guests,” Nooroo replied. “You guys can come out, Nathalie knows about Hawk Moth, it’s okay.”

Tikki phased out from the desk, while Plagg uncertainly came out from a curtain. He was glaring daggers at Nathalie, shaking slightly, while she stared at the two other kwamis in confusion. She opened her mouth, before reconsidering, and she looked at Gabriel for some answers.

“Nathalie, meet I-Tolerate-You and The-Literal-Devil,” Gabriel said, pointing at Tikki and Plagg. “Ladybug and Chat Noir’s kwamis. They like to... visit. On occasion.”

“Is that... safe, sir?” Nathalie asked weakly as she struggled to remain composed. “Is this not a threat to your plans?”

He shrugged. “Well, the heroes haven’t come busting down the mansion doors yet. The only one allowed here is the red one though, apparently she and Nooroo are married. The cat can leave for all I care.”

“Mates!” Tikki said stiffly. “We are mates, marriage is a human thing!”

“You!” Plagg spat. “You’re Mayura?! And here I actually thought you were semi-decent! The Gorilla is the only decent one in this household, the rest of you can taste my Cata–!”

“Plaggy-waggy!” Duusu cried, tears stinging her eyes, and Plagg’s eyes widened in realization.

“Uh-oh,” was all he managed to say as a blur of blue raced at him, Duusu tackling him in midair, wrapping her arms and tail around him in a crushing embrace. “Oh, um, it’s good to see you too, Duu, now please let go–”

“I’ve missed you so much!” She squealed, spinning both of them about, and Plagg tried to flee– but she grabbed him by the tail. “It’s been so long! How is your current holder? I’ve had two since I got lost! I’m with Miss Nathalie right now, I love her so much! What’s your holder like? Where does he live? Why do we have to fight all the time–?”

“Tikki help!” Plagg cried.

Tikki smirked. “Looks like we can go on a double date tonight, Nooroo.”

Nooroo smiled uncertainly. “Um, sure?”

“A date?” Duusu asked, beaming, managing to pull Plagg back into her suffocating hug. “Oh yes, that sounds like so much fun! Can we please, can we pretty please? You and Nooroo plus me and Plagg! We could catch up, play games, oh this is wonderful!”

“Sounds perfect,” Tikki beamed, and Duusu then faintly began glowing blue.

_ “Tikki!” _ Plagg wailed, struggling to get free. “Traitor! Save me!”

Gabriel watched as the kwamis floated up towards the wall, Duusu happily dragging Plagg along as they phased through into another room. They stared at each other for a moment, and Nathalie uncertainly offered him the papers she had. He sighed, accepting them, and went to sit down at his desk.

“Looks like we can do some planning tonight, after all.”

“Um, sir?” Nathalie asked, holding up the photo of him Plagg had been scribbling on– which featured crude drawings of him with devil horns, fire burning around him, and writing in a language he did not understand. “What is this?”

“Burn it,” he replied.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel has decided that electronics and kwamis don't mix. Plagg doesn't care.

Gabriel was very careful when it came to his phone. His number was kept private, only given access to family and certain investors. If it was ever leaked it was changed immediately, and he had the best security and privacy settings in place. The only thing that had ever compromised it was the annoying creatures known as kwamis, but Nooroo currently had orders not to touch it so he had nothing to worry about. If he got an alert he knew it was something important.

So when a notification popped up he was quick to select it, barely even glancing at what it entailed as he worked.

> _[Mothballs was added to the chat.]_

Wait– what?

He grabbed his phone, staring at the group chat that was labeled as ‘CheesePlz’. His eyes scrolled across the screen in confusion, several dots at the bottom indicating that someone was typing. He had heard of group chats before– but he most certainly was not part of any or knew of anyone that would lower themselves to join one. He glared at each nickname in turn, trying to figure how he had gotten added and why he was here.

> **Pineapple:** Wait. 

Wait was right– he wasn’t supposed to be a part of this! He quickly began typing.

> **Pineapple:** Plagg no.
> 
> **Mothballs:** What is this?
> 
> **MyWingsAren'tDark:** Hi Master.

‘Plagg’ and the term ‘master’ was enough to tell him who was behind this– Plagg and Nooroo. How did Nooroo get access to an electrical device, he was banned from his phone! He glared across the room, where he saw Nooroo hovering above his tablet, typing out one letter at a time. The kwami looked up at him as he felt his stare, before turning his focus back to the group chat.

> _[Peafoul was added to the chat.]_
> 
> **Peafoul:** Who is this, how did you get in contact with this device? I can and will sue.
> 
> **ImBluu:** miss nathalie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ah, Nathalie, on top of things like usual, professional as always. She was such a great assistant, what would he do without her? She was amazing, how many other people had a personal assistant that would help them attack a city and plot against two teenagers? She was a gem.

> _[ImBluu’s message was deleted by admin PlaggDad.]_
> 
> **PlaggDad:** no real names!!
> 
> **MyWingsAren'tDark:** Why not? We all know who each other are.
> 
> **Peafoul:** Is that you, Duusu? Is this why you wanted on my computer? We don’t have time to mess around in a chat room. Remove me and Gabriel immediately.

Why couldn’t the nicknames be straight forward like Plagg’s _PlaggDad?_ _Peafoul_ was clearly Nathalie, _MyWingsAren’tDark_ seemed to be Nooroo, _ImBluu_ was Duusu, so by process of elimination that left _Pineapple_ as Ladybug’s kwami. He frowned as he looked at his own name– _Mothballs._ That cat was lucky that he wasn’t here right now, he hated that little demon even more now.

> _[Peafoul’s message was deleted by admin PlaggDad.]_
> 
> **PlaggDad:** NO REAL NAMES!
> 
> **Mothballs:** How do I change my nickname?
> 
> **Peafoul:** Really, sir?

Yes really, Nathalie! He wasn’t going to be called _Mothballs._ He needed a more noble name, one that struck fear into the masses. Hawk Moth was preferable, but something like ‘Night’s Wings’ or ‘Passing Shadows’ would work too. He looked through the settings, but saw no option to switch his name. He was about to ask Nooroo how to do so, when two new alerts came through.

> _[Kitten was added to the chat.]_
> 
> _[Ladynoire was added to the chat.]_
> 
> **Pineapple:** Plagg no!
> 
> **PlaggDad:** Plagg yes!!!

Did the kwami really just do that? Was Plagg that sloppy? Oh, this was too good of a chance to pass up. Contact, some form of connection to his nemeses– which could always mean a way to track them!

> **Ladynoire:** Um? Hello?
> 
> _[Ladynoire was set to admin.]_
> 
> **Kitten:** What is this?
> 
> **Kitten:** wait. My Lady?
> 
> **Ladynoire:** Chat? 
> 
> **Ladynoire:** is that you?
> 
> **Ladynoire:** what is going on?

What was going on, little Ladybug? Your downfall– that’s what! He quickly began typing.

> **Mothballs:** Perfect. Give me your miraculouses.
> 
> **Pineapple:** Plagg, this is your worst idea ever, delete this chat now.
> 
> **Kitten:** I'm in a chat with Ladybug
> 
> **Kitten:** best day ever
> 
> **Kitten:** how much cheese do I owe you, Plagg?
> 
> **PlaggDad:** one wheel of Pule Cheese please.
> 
> **Kitten:** Done. Ordering it now.
> 
> **Peafoul:** You can afford that?
> 
> **Mothballs:** Mayura, see if you can track their location. We can’t let this opportunity slip by us.
> 
> **Ladynoire:** please don't tell that's actually hawk moth.
> 
> **Pineapple:** Afraid so.
> 
> **PlaggDad:** don't worry, this thing is as secure as they come, no one is tracking anyone.
> 
> **ImBluu:** but i wanna see plagg 😢
> 
> **PlaggDad:** keep your feathery paws away from me!
> 
> **Peafoul:** He's right, sir, I can't even get a read on your device.

...Dang it. Plan foiled again.

He stared down as he watched several dots appear, signalling that more typing was taking place. He tapped his fingers against his desk, trying to think. Group chats seemed to be like texting, but more annoying– was that something he wanted connected to his phone? No. It would mean dozens of annoying alerts, a connection with the annoying heroes and the annoying kwamis, but still...

They could slip up. Say something in the chat that could give them away. This was a chance he couldn’t pass up. He had to stay in this chat room. Gabriel reached for his coffee, taking a long sip as he scanned a conversation between Chat Noir and Nathalie.

> **Kitten:** “Sir”?
> 
> **Peafoul:** What about it?
> 
> **Kitten:** It's just weird...?
> 
> **Peafoul:** How? He's my boss.
> 
> **Kitten:** what?
> 
> **Ladynoire:** What?

These heroes were even more annoying online than in person. He lazily typed out a question, knowing deep down that they wouldn’t answer, but hey– a super villain can dream, can’t he?

> **Mothballs:** Where do you guys live?

Like expected Chat Noir ignored his very important question, and continued his conversation with _Peafoul_.

> **Kitten:** I thought you guys were married???

Gabriel choked on coffee as he read this, eyes wide with horror. He stared down at those few words, trying to comprehend just what they meant. They... they had thought what?! Why on earth did they think that? Was that what all of Paris thought? That Hawk Moth and Mayura were together? Were they blind? Nathalie was just an assistant, nothing more!

Across the room Nooroo giggled, ignoring the glare Gabriel gave him as he typed out another message.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I'm going to make a group chat fic based around this chapter.
> 
> [Update: Fic has been made.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22807315/chapters/54504667)


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Duusu ships GabeNath. Gabriel doesn't.

“Nathalie has been working so hard, she deserves something in return,” Duusu said, hovering right in front of Gabriel.

“I’ll give her a pay raise,” Gabriel said, staring intently at his desktop monitor. “Leave. Please.”

“But this would be so much cheaper~” Duusu said, waving a paper in Gabriel’s face. “I’m sure it would be so much more memorable too...”

“No.”

“You can just give any of your workers a pay raise, it’s not thoughtful at all,” Duusu began circling about his head, feathers brushing by his cheeks. “Nathalie has been keeping secrets for you. Committing crimes to help you. Has been putting her life on the line by using my Miraculous. Doesn’t she deserve something more? Something special? Something–”

“I’m not taking Nathalie out to dinner!” Gabriel snarled, rising to his feet. He snatched the photo out of Duusu’s paws, which showed a picture of Chat Noir and Ladybug on a candlelit rooftop. “Especially not in the same way the heroes do!”

“It would be something special!”

“It would look romantic!”

“Exactly!” Duusu cried, throwing her paws up. “Why else do you think I’m trying to get you to take her out?”

“I’ll take you out!”

“No thanks, I’m interested in Plagg,” Duusu said with a flick of her tail, and Gabriel stiffened up.

“No– I didn’t mean– gah!” He ran his hands through his hair. “Go back to Nathalie, now! I don’t want to see you, and I don’t want to deal with you! It’s already bad enough Paris thinks we’re– that Hawk Moth and Mayura are– urgh!”

“I will go down with this ship,” Duusu sang softly under her breath. “And I won’t put up paws up and surrender...”

“Get out!”

_ “There will be no white flag above my door!”  _ Duusu suddenly screeched, her voice reverberating through the room. The little kwami was able to hit notes Gabriel didn’t know were possible, and he found his hands flying to cover his ears.  _ “You’re in love! And always will–!” _

Gabriel threw himself forward, hands wrapping around the blue kwami, covering her small mouth as he seized her. A loud crash echoed through the room, his computer screen having been shoved to the ground in the process. He winced as he saw glass shatter, but made no effort to let go of Duusu. He could still hear her muffled voice even as he grasped her, and he was afraid of what unearthly sounds would exit her mouth if he was to let go of her.

He stiffened up as he heard a knock on his door. “Sir? Is everything okay?”

“Nathalie!” He cried in relief. “I need you–” he paused mid-sentence when he saw the gleam in Duusu’s eyes (who was still trying to sing). He didn’t know what the kwami was planning, but he didn’t want to find out. “I, um... never mind. I am fine. I... I need you to go check on Adrien and make sure he is practicing his piano.”

“...Of course, sir,” Nathalie said slowly, and he could hear her footsteps as she walked away. He let out a sigh, before glaring at the kwami in his hands.

Duusu then phased through his hands, letting out a sigh. “Oh,” she said softly, clutching her paws together. “That was so romantic~”

“How was anything about that romantic?!” Gabriel shouted, throwing his hands into the air.

Duusu simply sighed dreamily.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to make a group chat fic based off of the last chapter. Here's a link to the fic, [Kwami Chat.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22807315/chapters/54504667)
> 
> The song Duusu was singing was "White Flag" by Dido, and I don't own the lyrics to it.


	9. Chapter 9

“They’ve been nothing but unreliable this season,” Gabriel snapped. “Slowing down production, multiple complaints from those who they manage– I want the entire department fired.”

“And who would pick up the slack, sir?” someone– he only bothered to learn a few people’s names– asked in an exasperated voice, as if he was being unreasonable.

“I agree,” another who-cares-what-their-name-is said, sitting up as if he had something important to say. “Send in a couple people to do an evaluation of all the employees in the department instead. Fire the worst of the bunch, promote the best, and bring in fresh hires to fill in the missing spaces. Give the new ones high standards, and when they meet them promote them to the higher positions instead.”

Gabriel opened his mouth to shoot down this idea, except for out of the corner of his eye he saw Nathalie. She was shaking her head slowly, and he paused, watching her as closely as he could without it looking like he was watching her. After a moment she sighed, and slowly nodded her head, and Gabriel cleared his throat.

“That seems like a reasonable solution, Monsieur,” he said instead. “See that you get on that right away. Now, in regards to the delays we’re encountering with the next show–”

_Ding!_

Gabriel when still as he heard the notification of a phone, eyes narrowing instantly. He thought he made it clear that all electronics were to be silenced during meetings he was involved in– their attention needed to be on him and no one else. He glared out at the table, waiting to see who would confess to leaving their device on, when after a moment he realized they were all looking at him.

_Ding! Ding!_

Several more beeps came from his pocket, and he slowly pulled out his phone without a word. Nathalie glanced down at her tablet, then looked up at him shaking her head, but that didn’t stop him from opening up the notifications and reading what was inside.

> **Ladybug:** to what?
> 
> **Kitten:** I have several ideas in mind...
> 
> **Ladybug:** are they puns?

Stupid heroes. Stupid group chat. Why wasn’t his phone on silent? He remembered putting his phone on silent. With a grumbling sigh he turned off the volume, ignoring the hero’s conversation of changing their nicknames. It was insulting, actually, considering they had set his name as ‘toilet-water’.

“Important messages from some of my associates,” he said smoothly as he slid his phone back into his pocket, right next to Nooroo. “More important than this little meeting, I’m afraid. Business is taken care of though, we will not be interrupted again. Anyways–”

_Ding! Ding!_

Gabriel stiffened up as his phone went off once more– the phone he had just set on silent! He pulled it out once more, muting the sounds once again, not saying a word as he tucked it away. He adjusted his suit, keeping himself as composed as possible as he prepared to continue this meeting–

_Ding! Ding! Ding!_

He peered into his pocket, just in time to see Nooroo turning the sounds back on. The purple kwami stiffened up as he was caught, looking up at his master uncertainly– though with a gleam of mischievousness in his eyes. Gabriel’s fingers twitched, but he couldn’t say a word to Nooroo with everyone in front of him. So he just glared at him for a moment, waiting as Nooroo flipped it back to silent under his stare.

“Anyways, about the show in Lyon,” Gabriel continued, and fortunately no one questioned him about staring into his pocket. He continued conducting the board meeting smoothly for the next couple of minutes, even as he felt Nooroo shifting his phone in his pocket. He told himself not to worry though, because surely the kwami wasn’t as stupid as to take the device off of silent once again.

_Ding!_

Gabriel stiffened up as the horrible sound went off again, eyes widening with frustration. He furiously pulled out his phone, typing as quickly as he could, eyes flickering across the past messages.

> **Never:** Pretty please?
> 
> **toilet-water:** Stop spamming the chat I’m in a meeting.

That was Gabriel’s first mistake.

_Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding!_

> **Never:** lkjsdkl
> 
> **Never:** kjldsflkj
> 
> **Never:** a
> 
> **Never:** a
> 
> **Never:** a

He wasn’t sure when Chat Noir’s nickname had been changed, and while he normally would be happy to see that someone else besides himself had been stuck with an idoitic one, he was only annoyed as he watched Chat Noir send in message after message. He quickly shut off his phone, switching it to silent once more, but Nooroo was quick to turn the volume right back up, even though he slipped it away into a different pocket.

_Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding!_

It was taking everything Gabriel had not to let out a frustrated cry, and much to his horror he could see a few of those in the meeting covering their mouth, trying to hold back a smirk. He would not stand for this! He would not be mocked in his own meeting!

_Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding!_

The notifications showed that Chat Noir was only spamming the letter ‘a’ over and over. A growl escaped from Gabriel’s gritted teeth, and he heard a snicker. He whipped his head up, but found everyone looking at him passively, though there was a humored gleam in their eyes. This wasn’t funny! They had no right– 

_Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding!_

“Nathalie,” Gabriel said stiffly. “It seems that my phone is malfunctioning.”

“I can hear that, sir,” Nathalie said, voice as formal as ever– but he saw the smirk twitching at the corner of her mouth. Heat flooded his face, alongside the feeling of betrayal. His loyal assistant, his dear Mayura– and she was laughing at him. Wasn’t she supposed to be on his side? Yet here she was mocking him!

_Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding!_

Of course she did look wonderful when she smiled. It wasn’t often he got to see that side of her, usually it only came out when she was transformed into Mayura. Her sly smirks and the cunning gleam in her eyes... a supervillain couldn’t have asked for a better ally.

He then realized he was standing there as his phone went off repeatedly. He quickly opened the group chat once more, swiftly typing.

> **toilet-water:** You’re not as funny as you think.
> 
> **Never:** a

“Nathalie, please take my phone and see if you can find the issue,” he said, holding out the device. “And if necessary buy me a new one, and ensure that we do not buy from this brand again.”

“Of course, sir,” Nathalie replied.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based off of [chapter three](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22807315/chapters/54898411#workskin) of Kwami Chat.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I totally didn't forget about this fic.

Garbriel woke up in the middle of the night to the most unpleasant scent. He groaned, twisting in his bed, but the scent seemed to linger under his nose. He again tried to turn over to escape the horrible smell– but instead he felt something squish under him as he rolled over. His eyes snapped open, and he sat straight up, fumbling for the lamp.

Light flooded his room, and he found himself face to face with a small black figure.

“What are you doing in my room?!” Gabriel roared at Plagg, who was holding a slice of Camembert cheese in his paws, which he now recognized to be the horrible smell. The scent had been a lot stronger though... had he been shoving it directly under his nose?

“Floating.”

Gabriel threw his covers back, trying to see what exactly he had been laying in. He looked down at the squashed grapes, its purple juices sinking into his sheets and clothes. His eyes widened as he looked about the room, and saw Nooroo hovering a ways off with a bunch of grapes in his hand. Not table grapes, which wouldn’t be too much of a mess, but rather wine grapes that were guaranteed to leave a stain.

Nooroo smiled uncertainly. “It was Plagg’s idea?”

Gray eyes shifted back towards Plagg, who proceeded to smoosh the slice of Camembert right into Gabriel’s face. Nice aged camembert too– meaning the inside was runny and gooey. Gabriel went still, Plagg burst out laughing, and Nooroo shrank back nervously.

“Dark wings rise!” He snarled, and with a flash of purple light Nooroo was dragged into the Miraculous pinned to his chest. (Yes, he wore his Miraculous to bed, he wasn’t about to let it be misplaced). Light danced about him as he was transformed, a purple cane appearing in his hands, and Plagg just snickered.

_ “Dark _ wings rise?” He asked. “I’m pretty sure the phrase is just ‘wings rise’... who knew Hawky had to be so edgy.”

He replied by swinging his cane at the kwami, who simply darted away from the blow. Hawk Moth threw himself out of bed, chasing after the intruder with violent swings. Even though he didn’t often fight directly when transformed he was still far from weak, but none of that mattered if he couldn’t hit the kwami. Plagg zipped about him like an acrobat, sticking out his tongue, taunting him after each missed strike.

“Get out of my house you fiend!” He roared as he chased the Black Cat about the room, who did nothing but laugh. The kwami didn’t seem to be paying attention to where he was going, and soon found himself cornered as Hawk Moth raised his cane once more. “Nowhere to hide now.”

He swung with all his might, and Plagg just simply closed his eyes. A moment before the weapon hit him he went intangible, the cane phasing through him like he wasn’t even there. The two stared at each other for a moment, then with a grin and a swish of his tail Plagg darted for the wall behind him, slipping away before Hawk Moth could attempt to strike again.

There was a knock on his door, and Hawk Moth froze up.

“M Agreste?” A voice asked from outside– one of the security guards. “Is everything alright, sir? We heard shouting.”

“I’m, um, fine!” He said quickly, the last thing he needed was for them to walk in and see Hawk Moth standing there. He wasn’t keen to detransform either, which would mean them seeing him covered in cheese and grape juice in the middle of the night, and he had no idea how he would explain that.

“Are you sure, sir? It sounded like you were talking to someone,” the guard asked. “There’s not an intruder, is there? Are you under duress?”

“No, I was just um... sleepwalking,” Hawk Moth said slowly. “I must have been sleep talking as well, I am sorry for the false alarm.”

“I see sir, sorry for disturbing you,” the guard said, and Hawk Moth didn’t relax until his footsteps faded away. He let out a sigh, sinking down onto his bed, not caring about the squashed grapes, the sheets were ruined anyways.

Housekeeping couldn’t see this! There was no explanation that could be given. He couldn’t say he was being haunted by a cat or that his kwami was being rebellious... except for, there was someone he could tell! Someone who would understand and was paid to help him!

He reached for his lamp table, grabbing his phone and dialing a number. It rang only three times– because even in the middle of the night she was reliable. “Hello, sir? Is everything okay?”

“I need your help, Nathalie,” Hawk Moth said. “Kwami-related business.”

He could almost hear her frown. “...Are you akumatizing someone right now? Do you need Mayura? Duusu and I will be right up–”

“No, literally kwami-related things. Or problems, that’s all kwamis are, trouble,” he grumbled. “Chat Noir’s kwami was in my room and smeared my face with cheese, and got Nooroo to join in and now my sheets and clothes are stained with grape juice.”

Silence on the other line.

“I can’t explain this to anyone else, so housekeeping can’t see this,” Hawk Moth continued. “So I need these cleaned before morning and a new set of sheets.”

“Sir... how do you think it would look if I was washing your sheets and clothes in secret in the middle of the night?” Nathalie asked slowly.

“Nathalie, please,” Hawk Moth begged. “The moment I detransform I’ll be covered in Camembert again and he might return with more. Help me.”

He heard a loud sigh on the other end of the phone. “I’ll be there soon. And I want a raise. A big one.”

“Anything,” he promised, and he wondered if that was the right thing to say, because he swore that he heard her smirking through the phone.

“I’ll be right there sir,” she replied, tone unchanging, yet he had the feeling that he had just sold his soul to the devil as she hung up.

Thank goodness he was rich, so he could afford any pay raise she wanted. 

He hoped.


	11. Chapter 11

“No. I refuse.”

Gabriel stood in the doorway on his atelier, looking at the  _ five _ figures already in there. Their little beady eyes stared right back at him, blinking in confusion.

“Hello, Master,” Nooroo said, drifting up from his desk, waving a paw towards a kwami that sat on his keyboard. “This is–”

“I absolutely refuse,” Gabriel said, shutting the door before he could even enter his office. He leaned up against the door, rubbing at his temples. One was all there should be, two was what he was used to, three he could tolerate, and four was past his limit.

_ But there were five kwamis currently sitting in his office. _

He had only caught a glimpse of the green figure, but it had been enough for him to want to turn on a heel and flee. What would this new demon bring upon him? New levels of annoyance he had yet to experience? Was this karma for terrorizing the city? He wasn’t that bad, everything was reverted in the end! How hard was it for a villain to attack his enemies without comeuppance?

“Father, are you okay?”

Gabriel jerked his head back, and found himself looking down into a pair of concerned green eyes. The two stared at each other for a moment, before he swiftly sat up, composing himself. That didn’t lessen the worry in the teen’s eyes though, and he took a step towards him.

“Adrien,” Gabriel said. “What are you doing?”

“I was looking for–” Adrien paused for a moment, before shaking his head. “Nevermind, I just probably misplaced um– it. Are you okay though, Father?”

“I am just fine,” he replied, adjusting the sleeves on his suit. “Merely stress from work, but nothing unmanageable. I don’t see how this is your concern though, don’t you have piano to practice–” he paused, glancing at the small item in Adrien’s hand. “...Is that cheese?”

Adrien looked down at the slice of camembert, as if he just realized he had it. “Oh? Just a snack.”

Gabriel’s noise crinkled, any appeal for cheese he had was gone thanks to a certain kwami. “Yes... you have been ordering a good amount of that recently, haven’t you?”

Adrien shrugged. “Guess school’s given me more of an appetite,” he shifted. “I, er, was going to ask Nathalie something, but since you’re here can I ask you? If you’re not busy, of course.”

Not like his kwami infestation was going to vanish anytime soon. “What is it?”

“I was wondering if I could hang out with a friend,” Adrien said, looking up at his father hopefully. “I finished my piano already, and my weekend homework I got done yesterday, and I don’t have any photoshoots today.”

“Which friend, exactly?” Gabriel asked, eyes narrowing as he thought back on the annoying boy in the hat he had once akumatized.

“Marinette,” Adrien replied, beaming as he said her name. Gabriel stared at this reaction, and Adrien hurriedly added on. “She’s the one that won your hat competition, remember? She’s a really hard worker and we don’t get to hang out that often, and–”

“Yes, I remember her,” Gabriel said. He had attempted to akumatize her a few times, but had always failed, she seemed to be a resilient type. “I see no issue with that, as long as you conduct yourself in an appropriate manner and are back before dark.”

She was one of the few of Adrien’s classmates that hadn’t seemed to be waiting to lead Adrien off onto some dark path like DJ-ing or introduce strange words such as ‘dude’ into his son’s vocabulary. And since he had to confront an army of annoying creatures it would probably be best for Adrien to be out of the house.

Besides, seeing the way Adrien had just lit up at saying her name, perhaps this girl would be a good means to get Adrien’s focus off of Ladybug.

“Thank you, Father!” Adrien said happily, looking as if he had just given him the whole world. “I’ll see you tonight!”

Unlikely as he had work to do, but he didn’t comment. Adrien was cheerful, distracted, and was leaving the house; which was exactly what he needed. With that Gabriel turned back towards the door, taking in a deep breath. It was just one more kwami, surely it wouldn’t be that bad.

He pushed open the door to his office and walked in, and found all five kwamis sitting in a circle talking amongst themselves.

“It is risky, irresponsible, and putting too much in jeopardy!” The green one said in a loud whisper.

“It may just be the opportunity we need though,” Tikki said, paws held out, and they all fell silent from their conversation as he entered. He scowled at all of them, as no kwami would get an opportunity for anything if he had anything to say about it.

“Who are you and what are you doing here?” Gabriel said firmly, intending to take control of the situation from the start, glaring at the new kwami.

The turtle-like creature drifted up, face twisted into a scowl. “I am Wayzz, kwami of Protection, and companion of the current Guardian,” he said, voice hard and gaze cold. “I’d like to ask you a few questions, if you don’t mind.”

He most certainly did mind, but ‘Wayzz’ didn’t seem to care.

He didn’t get any work done that evening, merely being grilled about his homelife and intentions with the Miraculouses he possessed. He didn’t intend to answer anything, but those beady green eyes were intense. Unfortunately it was hard to focus with the other kwamis starting what seemed to be a game of tag, or maybe Plagg just enjoyed fleeing from Duusu.

“Very well,” Wayzz finally concluded. “I will alert the Great Guardian to what’s going on, but we won’t take action for now.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Gabriel snapped.

“It means we’re giving you something you don’t deserve, Hawk Moth– a chance,” Wayzz said, drifting towards the window. “I recommend you use it wisely.”

“I’m not stopping the akumas, if that’s what you want,” he said, taking a step after him.

“I’m not expecting you to,” Wayzz said evenly. “However if I deem their plan isn’t working we will be taking action.”

“I thought the kwamis couldn’t reveal identities,” Gabriel said, a spike of fear pulsing through him.

Wayzz gave a dry smile. “Verbally, no. But there’s nothing stopping Tikki and Plagg from revealing your location.”

He whipped his head towards the red and black kwamis, who were looking at him coolly. “Trust me,” Plagg said with a sneer. “We’re not doing this for your sake.”

“Tread carefully, Hawk Moth,” Wayzz said, before phasing through the wall and vanishing. ****

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Potential plot? In my crack fic? More likely than you think.


	12. Chapter 12

“What in Shii’s name is that monstrosity?” Plagg snarled.

“Wow, this is how you react to a gift,” Gabriel said blandly. “How am I not surprised. Anyways, put it on to see if I need to make any alterations.”

Plagg backed off towards the wall he had just phased through. “Nuh-uh, no way, over my dead body! And considering that I don’t die... that means never!”

He tried to dive into the wall, but he was stopped by Tikki and Duusu, who both grabbed him by his arms. “Come on Plagg, it’s just a bit of fun!” Tikki said, pulling him back towards Gabriel’s desk. “He made this especially for you!”

“I am Destruction!” Plagg cried. “Not some doll to be dressed up!”

Gabriel hadn’t been able to resist– he had designed countless things for humans most of his life, but kwamis were just something different. Their dimensions were nothing like a human’s, providing an unique challenge, and the range of colors they came in provided him an opportunity to use some creative palettes. Their small sizes also meant that he did not waste much material when designing for them. He had made several outfits for Nooroo and Duusu over the years, but both of them were cool colors– so the bright appearance of Tikki and the striking midnight of the demon was simply something he couldn’t pass up.

“But Plagg, we all did it– so you hafta!” Duusu insisted as the Peacock finally dragged him over to the desk, where several small kwami-sized outfits were waiting.

The other three were dressed up– Tikki was in a white sundress, laced with intricate gold thread, and he already had plans to make a sunhat to go with it. Duusu’s outfit was more bold with yellows, highlighted with softer purples to compliment her feathers, small beads weaved into her tail and crest feathers, tiny little shoes upon her feet. Finally there was Nooroo, who was in a tiny silver suit hemmed with a sky blue, caps of the same color on his head and the tips of his wings. He had even made a little cane similar to the one when he transformed for Nooroo to hold, who was hovering by Gabriel’s shoulder.

“Why aren’t you fighting this?” Plagg snarled at Nooroo.

“I have to follow orders,” Nooroo said with a shrug. “And just get into your suit– it really isn’t that bad.”

Plagg’s outfit had been the hardest to come up with for Gabriel, but a challenge he had happily taken on. Jet black of course looked amazing with many colors, but often as a base, and it would blend right into the kwami’s fur if he did so. There was also his bright green eyes to consider, which complimented the black wonderfully, but making that neon the main shade would be a nightmare. He had considered silver, but that was already Nooroo’s color– so he had settled on a dark gray suit accented with a white dress shirt underneath to help it stand out. He had used green as well, though only in the smallest amounts– as a bow tie and the buttons on the jacket.

“Nooooo!” Plagg cried as the girls dressed him up in the outfit, both of them giggling. “Clothes are a human thing! You’re ruining my image!”

He didn’t seem to yet realize that he could just phase out of the outfit, which Nooroo had done the first few times before he had ordered him not to. Gabriel looked over his work as the Black Cat kwami grumpily floated there in the air, letting out a series of colorful words at the girls. He wished that he would hold still so he could get a better look at what to improve in his future designs, but he knew that asking would only make the kwami worse.

“Hmm, the bow tie was much too old fashion,” Gabriel mused. “Perhaps a tie, but with that shade of green it would be too much... A hat of some kind would be fitting, but nothing too large for that shade of gray...”

“I am not wearing a hat, you walking candy cane!” Plagg snarled, fur bristled.

“But you would look so handsome,” Duusu said, pressing her paws together, and Plagg started gagging.

“Nah, he’d looks like a dork,” Tikki said with a giggle, before turning towards Nooroo. “But I do know who looks handsome in their little suit...”

Gabriel paled as she stared glowing, and Nooroo did the same thing. The two kwamis drifted closer together, dancing about each other. Duusu let out another coo, and Plagg began gagging even harder in reply. The unearthly sounds didn’t seem to phase the two lovebirds, Nooroo and Tikki cuddling up against each other as they radiated a soft light.

“Oh Cookie,” Tikki said softly, before switching to the softer chime-like sounds of the kwami language, Nooroo replying in turn.

Duusu turned to Plagg happily, glowing a soft blue, Plagg then somehow began gagging even more, hacking and coughing, dramatically flopping onto his back as he floated in the air.

“Out, all of you, my office is not such a place for this!” Gabriel said, waving his hand.

“If you insist~” Tikki giggled, before grabbing Nooroo’s paw and phasing through the wall.

“Let’s go too, Plaggy!” Duusu said, and before Plagg could open his mouth to protest he was dragged towards the wall, both of them phasing through, going after the other two kwamis. Gabriel sat down, letting out a sigh as he was finally alone.

“Hmm,” he mused. “I wonder how sequins would reflect the light when they’re glowing... perhaps if I...”

He pulled his tablet towards him, as he had more designs to sketch.


	13. Chapter 13

“What is that?” Plagg asked, pointing to the newest addition in Gabriel office.

“It’s a cat tree,” Gabriel replied.

Plagg’s tail lashed. “That does not look like a tree, nor a cat.”

Gabriel rolled his eyes. “It’s supposed to be a stand for cats to climb, hide, play, and scratch on,” he replied. “I was doing some research on cats, and they said the best way to get cats to stop scratching up things and knocking things over is to have a place for them to play and occupy themselves– so there you go.”

Plagg stared. “What.”

“That’s yours,” Gabriel said, waving a hand at the cat tree. “So instead of tearing up my seat and curtains like you’ve been doing for the past week, you can scratch up the cat tree when you feel the need to shred up something in my office.

Plagg’s tail lashed. “I am not an actual cat!”

“Well, your behavior says otherwise,” Gabriel said, opening his desk and pulling out a small cat toy– which featured a collection of colorful feathers on the end of a stick. “You have been displaying behaviors of an under stimulated cat, and play can be a good way to get one to relax and stop being destructive.”

Bright green eyes locked onto the feathers as Gabriel flicked the cat toy about. “I am Destruction incarnate!” Plagg protested, drifting closer as the feathers waved through the air. “You can not stop me from being such!”

Then with a small yowl Plagg lunged forward, pawing and biting at the feathered toy. Gabriel waved it about, spinning a bit in his chair to make sure the kwami was chasing the toy, as it was very important to completely wear a cat out with play in order to get them into a calmer state, or so he had read. He wished he did not have to resort to this, but if it would be what was needed to keep his office intact then he would do so.

Plagg was chewing aggressively on the feathers, which were beginning to wither, as if the kwami’s presence itself were radiating a destructive aura. Gabriel’s eyes narrowed at this– perhaps investing in a laser pointer would be efficient, and last longer. 

He stood up, guiding the kwami over towards the cat tree and away from his desk. Plagg’s focus on the toy did not fade, the kwami currently gnawing on the tip of the stick. Then the Black Cat suddenly froze up, becoming a black blur as he zipped away from the toy, diving and hiding in one of the small cubbyholes within the cat tree, just as the office door was thrown open.

“Hey, Father, I was wondering–” Adrien paused mid sentence as he strolled into his father’s atelier, staring. “...Is that a cat toy?”

“...No."

Adrien’s eyes flickered behind him. “That’s a cat tower.”

“...Perhaps,” Gabriel said, mouth dry, not quite sure how to explain this. Perhaps he should have thought about this before purchasing the cat items, but since it was rarely anyone besides him, Nathalie, and the kwamis in the office it hadn’t crossed his mind to what other people would think. “Officially it was labeled as a cat tree, actually.”

“Why do you have a cat tree?” Adrien asked, frowning, fiddling with his ring. “It’s not like we have a cat...?”

“Well, not yet,” Gabriel said, carefully setting the cat toy down on the cat tree. “But I figured... it was best to be prepared before one came into the home?”

Adrien’s eyes lit up. “Wait– we’re getting a cat?”

Gabriel swallowed, but running along with this idea was his only chance of not looking weird. “W-well, as you noticed I’ve been tense lately, and I was doing some research... and it said having an animal in the house can be a means to reduce stress.” He was just spitting out words he had read when trying to find a way to curb Plagg’s destructive behavior, but he didn’t believe it– as the two cats in his own life only made it a pain. “So I was considering the possibility of...adopting. Seeing if that would... help.”

“That’s a wonderful idea, Father!” Adrien beamed. “I would love to have an– a cat in the house, that would be so much fun.” He shifted. “Could I... help pick one out? I mean if that’s okay but I kind have always wanted a pet, well, I supposed this would be your pet–”

Gabriel coughed. “Er, yes. I, um, would be just fine with that. Nathalie can find a time for you and her to go out to find a... suitable... companion... for us. I am sure you’d pick well.”

He swore he heard Plagg snickering from the cat tree, but considering that Adrien didn’t react perhaps he was just imagining it.

“I’ll pick out the purrfect cat, Father!” Adrien said, a look of pure joy on his face. “I’m sure a cat is just what our home needs to bring some life back to it– I know we won’t regret this!”

Gabriel was sure he was going to regret this.


End file.
